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Sounds to me like his body is reacting in tune with his emotions. Not something he is doing consciously. The way you have described your situation it's possible he feel a bit emasculated by your behavior, which comes across in your description as simultaneously needy, and controlling.
Your second post describes a passive scenario on your part but nevertheless. Maybe there is something about his behavior that makes you feel you have to be more. If that's the case, the aren't good for either of you.
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